Saptapati
Saptapadi or ‘seven steps’ is a very important rite in a Vedic marriage ceremony. At the time of marriage, the couple sit in front of the sacred fire and take seven vows in the presence of the Guru or God that they will both live a blissful married life. These vows in the Vedic marriage have a very deep meaning and are designed to help the couple to evolve together in a holistic way. They pertain not only to the worldly pursuits of the couple together, but also their mental, emotional, social, ecological, and spiritual attitudes. If followed with authenticity they lead to enlightenment itself. Introduction Nowadays, our lives are completely taken over by the fantasy and mental picture that lust creates in us. The emotion that we call love, is tainted by greed and fear. All our love is conditional. We can only love someone as long as that person does what we say and obeys us. Control is a precondition to love.
In ancient days, people had the capacity to enjoy their marital pleasures completely without fantasies. They lived out their desires and were ready to give up the life of householders by the age of 40.
Vedic scriptures prescribe four stages of life to attain the ultimate spiritual goal of enlightenment. These four stages of life are appropriate for each phase of one’s life. The four stages in life are: Brahmacharya, a student; Grihastha, a householder; Vanaprastha, a householder spending his time in reflection, after having fulfilled his duties as a husband and father; and finally Sanyasi, the ascetic, when the householder retires to be alone, in search of enlightenment.
Man and wife lived their lives fully till they were about forty. They then disengaged from physical relationship and focused on their spiritual development. In this stage, called Vanaprastha, they moved away from day-to-day life. They could either continue as such the rest of their lives or they could move to the next and final stage of renouncing all worldly possessions as sanyasi, ascetics. Each stage of life was taken seriously and fulfilled.
These days everything is half-hearted. Very few couples today understand the sacred verses chanted during their marriage rites. Only the purohits, the officiating priests, get married these days! The couples are disengaged from the beauty of the entire process of the ritual that leads to a meaningful relationship.
The beautiful rite performed in front of the fire in traditional Hindu weddings is called Saptapati, the seven steps. There is deep significance when a married couple take the steps together. The couple vows to each other seven times, with fire as their witness, that they will be intimate and develop a deep love for each other. The Vedic culture did not have the concept of divorce. In Sanskrit no words exist to describe marital separation. Marriage was a wonderful relationship that couples shared without fear and greed, with unconditional acceptance of one another. This relationship extended to all other aspects of their lives.
Saptapadi Vows
The following are the Saptapadi mantras and their interpretation:
1st sacred vow: Concept of sharing
ekamiñe viñëustvä anvetu |
Let us both create, secure and enjoy all the things and comforts related to the physical body like food, clothing, shelter and other wealth needed for the physical body. This very vow hits at the dowry system. The dowry system asks for wealth and other things from the girl’s family. This vow clearly states that the couple will create wealth and sustain it together.’
2nd sacred vow: Mental and spiritual strength, work towards enlightenment
dve ürje viñëustvä anvetu |
Let us join together without ego, to do all that is needed to increase the Shakti (energy) inside our body and thus enhance our intellectual strength by meditation, yoga etc.
3rd sacred vow: Living independently dependent
tréëi vratäya viñëustvä anvetu |
I will not force myself upon the other at the physical or mental level when the other does not prefer it.
4th sacred vow: Transcend maya by teamwork
catväri mäyo bhaväya viñëustvä anvetu |
I (the man) will help the woman overcome the illusions she holds in the form of her fear and insecurity. I (the woman) will help the man overcome the illusions he holds in the form of lust.
5th sacred vow: Social and eco-friendly responsibilities
païca paçubhyaù viñëustvä anvetu |
Let us look after our ancestors and elders who are alive, our Guru, Devatas and all animals that support us, like cattle or pets, and the entire nature like trees, hills, rivers etc.
6th sacred vow: Support each other without suffocating
ñaòåtubhyaù viñëustvä anvetu |
Let us support and strengthen each other in all moods and in all seasons, in all situations, at all times and spaces, not only when one of us is weak or in low mood, but let us share when we feel strong or when we are in high mood as well.
7th sacred vow: Comply with promises and live as friends
saptasaptabhyaù hoträbhyaù viñëustvä anvetu ||
We promise to follow all that is covered here and all that is not covered here as well. There could be many things that may not have been included in the previous promises. So this promise covers all those that have not been covered in any of the previous promises.
After the seven steps are over the husband has to call his wife “sakhe” meaning “Oh my friend”.
sakhäyau saptapadä bhabhüva
By making these seven promises, we both have become friends. I have got your friendship and you have mine. We shall not let this be lost. We shall live forever as compatible companions. By taking these vows the couple agree to be friendly to each other. By chanting these mantras, the union between the husband and wife is solemnized in the presence of the Guru or God. They are united in their thinking and in the way they act. They pray that they may have pure love towards each other. By this mantra they vow to become people who are like-minded in opinion and thus enjoy being together.
More about the Vows
Power of Love
Love is actually a power. When somebody empowers you with their love, suddenly the idea life is enemy will be forgotten.
When you feel empowered by somebody’s love, it does not mean poverty and disease will disappear, but when you are empowered by their love, or when you empower somebody with love, the idea life is enemy will disappear, you will justify the state you are experiencing. Even if you experience poverty, you know how to cognitively justify. “Oh, I may be in poverty, but like is just.. I know.”
When a human being empowers you with love, you experience certain completion. The completion is so powerful, you are ready to give up anything for that. This is the psychology of love marriage, not the science.
If you understand this, and empower both, then it is science. When both of you understand, when I empower you, you forget life is enemy, you are rejuvenated, fueled, inspired to run the life - when both of you understand and decide to empower each other, it is called science. When both of you understand and decide to blackmail each other with this, it is called marriage.
4th vow of Saptapadi is this: I will make sure life is enemy idea is forgotten in your life.
“Each one commits to the other over the Agni (fire). Unless you are sure, don’t get Indian marriage (Over Agni). First, get the western marriage, get legally married. Live for one or two years, then goo for Indian Marriage. It may sound revolutionary, but I am very clear.. For All my disciples I tell you this - Go for legal marriage which can be broken, which does not bring karma, but don’t take the vows in front of Agni. Wait one or two years. Because if you take the vows in front of Agni, and break them, it is disrespecting all the Gods you invoke in Agni. I think I will respect integrity much more than marriage. I will respect adherence to the vows, more than taking vows. ..
Go for legal marriage, and decide to practice this Saptapadi. And both of you are successful in empowering each other with love, and the other person forgets life is enemy, then, you are successful, now you should go for vow in front of Agni - The Vedic Marriage. At least for my disciples, have this as the formula.” - Paramahamsa Nithyananda
When a being empowers you, the idea life is enemy is forgotten, irrelevant, redundant.
When a cosmic being loves you and empowers you, you just start manifesting powers. Power manifestation is nothing but beyond your body and mind, your being feeling 'I love you'."
References
http://www.nithyananda.org/article/fulfilment-relationships#gsc.tab=0 http://nithyanandatimes.org/saptapadi-the-sacred-vows-of-marriage/ July 24, 2017: Morning Satsang