May 25 2013
Title
Inner Awakening Day 18 | Nithyananda Purnima | Jnanasambandar Birthday |
Description:
In today’s morning satsang, Paramahamsa Nithyananda celebrates two festivals:the birthday of Jnana Sambandhar, the young saint of Madurai Adheenam; and the Full Moon of Nithyananda’s enlightenment at age 12. The two holy youths, Jnana Sambandhar and the boy who became Nithyananda, were about the same age when they gained enlightenment. Nithyananda recounts the tale of His sudden reception of divine awareness. He saw all creation as alive and as One; His entire surroundings – every plant, every stone – stood out in 360 degree vision, both on the horizontal and vertical planes. Nithyananda describes how His practice of the Four Truths of Life opened the path to this experience.
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Video | Audio |
Transcript:
0-15 min
We’ll start the Satsang. Today, I’ll expand on my enlightenment experience, in the light of the four tattvas: Integrity, Authenticity, Responsibility and Enriching! Listen! Please, come to the space of listening! All the viewers, devotees, disciples through Sadhana TV, Lotus news channel, I request all of you to come to the space of listening! Settle down and listen!
I’ll describe exactly what happened at the age of twelve. When I say twelve, it is based on the Indian standard. As per the American standard, it is eleven, because in the West, they only tell the number which is over; in India we tell the number which is running. Because, in India, aging is respected, in West, youth are respected. Age receives respect in our society, so, we always try to show one year more. So, between eleven and twelve, that was the time, on this very day; since now I am between 35 and 36. How many years before? Twenty four years before! Two dozen years over! Twenty four years before, on this same day, on the pournami day, today is also Vaikashi Vishakha – Vaikashi month, Vishakha nakshathra. Subrahmanya’s enlightenment day. As per the tradition, this is the day Subrahmanya appeared. This is considered to be the birthday of Subrahmanya. He appeared from the third eye of Mahadeva. He is the embodiment of jnana, enlightenment. It is His enlightenment day also! So, today Mahadeva gave birth to Subrahmanya.
On this very day, in the evening, I went to the Hill, Arunachala Hill; at the feet of the Arunachala Hill, at the foothills, there is a place called, Kumaran Kundram, Coral hillock on a rock, you can see exactly this is the same rock on which I was sitting. It’s a very beautiful place, a very powerful place, where Devi became enlightened. The place where Devi Parvathi did tapas and became enlightened, so, still there’s a Ardhanareeshwara temple there, the place has a strong connection with the spiritual energy. I should narrate the incidents that happened before this experience, only then you will understand the whole experience. Because, in those days, I started practicing the self-enquiry: who am I? In a little different way as initiated by Annamalai Swamigal, an enlightened being, enlightened master, who is a disciple of the great incarnation Ramana Maharshi. He is a disciple of Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi. Annamalai Swamigal. I had the fortune of sitting at his feet at a very young age, still I have his personal diary, in which in his own handwriting, he recorded all his connection with Bhagavan, and teachings of Bhagavan, like a diary. Still I have that diary in my possession. In our archives, it is there. It was gifted to me by one of his disciples, a great Sadhu! Once I went to listen to him, few foreigners were sitting around him and he was talking about some spiritual truths. I’ll tell you roughly what I understood from his words! I can’t say this is what he said, I can say this is what I heard! That we are not the body, there is no pain, suffering, for us. I was really surprised to hear that, because I’ve seen in my family, if the kids are beaten they cry. Even though I was never beaten, I’ve seen kids are being beaten, they cry and so it was really beginning of search for me.
Please listen! I went to the house, I know I have not understood whatever he said, but, because I was in the pure space of listening, whatever he said was intensely working on me. It is like a, Ramakrishna tells a beautiful story: ‘a mother pearl, oyster, am I right? Oyster has to receive the water, rain water, showers from the sky during Swaathi nakshathra. When the Swaathi nakshathra is on the peak, the rain water drop which falls from the sky, the oyster has to catch that. Rain water; then, she has to go into the ocean and process that water drop; that drop of water becomes ‘pearl’! Same way, you have to be in the pure space of listening, to receive the words from the master and go and work on it!! Then only you will see the pearl happening! The pearl of Enlightenment! Experience happening in you!
I was in the pure space of listening, so those words entered into my being, but, I was not capable of cognizing what he said! See, if I had cognized what he said, that moment I would have become enlightened! But, I was not capable of cognizing what he said. I only listened!! But, my listening was so pure, the word was intensely working on me, I was possessed by that word! Listen! ‘I was possessed by that word so powerfully!’ whatever I was doing physically, that word was sitting in me.
When a Completion and Completion hits at each other, a Completion is born!
Poornamadah, poornamidam, poornaat poornam udacyate!
My inner space completion and the completion of Annamalai Swamigal, both were going through a process through the word he uttered, through the initiation he gave. It was like, I was filled with that word, ‘how can this be?’ I can say that intranalyzing was going on. When you are in completion, even if you don’t cognize master’s words, those words will not leave you! They will take cognizance of you! Master’s words will take cognizance of you, listen! When I utter a word, it spreads all over the hall, but only the space of completions, it even recognizes as human beings and enters into them! Others, it just goes above the head. If you are not in the space of completion, the word just does not even recognize you! When you are in the space of completion, it recognizes your presence! Your existence!
So, the word was working on me so powerfully, the word took cognizance of me. It was so strong on me, I started contemplating! One day it became too much, I wanted to find out the truth, so I wanted to experiment on myself, whether I have pain or not. I ran, picked up a shaving razor; those days it will be like a long blade, on which you will insert a blade and shave. I took my father’s razor, and cut my thigh very deeply and long enough so, later on they had to make 13 stitches. That time I did not have any technique or methodology or idea to go beyond pain. I have not experienced enlightenment. So, naturally when I cut my thigh, the blood started oozing out, gushing out and I can say I was shaken! Still, I am not able to exactly describe whether there was pain or not, but I was shaken! I can say it was more psychological. More than that, my mother crying and running around; my grandmother who always suspected I’m mad, got confirmed! She said, ‘that paithya sami has done something’, and the ruckus they created, I can say that I felt I am supposed to be in pain and distress! I was taken to the hospital; hospital is just opposite house, just straight if you cross the road it’s hospital. This side, the house which I was born and brought up, that side is the doctor. Still he’s alive in Thiruvannamalai. So, I was taken to that doctor; his name is Karunanidhi, still he’s there and his sons also became doctors. And, I was taken to that doctor and he saw, and he asked my why did I do what I did. I have no answer, then he did whatever need to be done and then he did 13 stitches! Still the stitched marks are there; 13 stitches!
Of course, two or three days, I went again to Annamalai Swamigal and asked him; please understand! I did not take responsibility for my inauthentic understanding! I put the blame on him; I put the blame on him! I ran to him and said, ‘see, what you taught me, you said we don’t have pain or suffering, I went and cut my thigh, I’m having pain’. But, now I remember, I can’t even record or remember having pain; the ruckus they created around me was suffocating! And, I’m forced to believe I’m supposed to be having pain and pain. So I went and told him, ‘see what you taught!’ in a mood of blaming him .
15-end
He laughed and said, ‘don’t worry my son, you did not understand what I said but even without understanding, your attitude of experimenting is a great quality. Hold on to it, you will achieve the ultimate'. Of course even at the end of the conversation, I was not satisfied or happy; I told him- ‘all this you could have taught me before I cut myself. I don’t have to go through this suffering.’ He laughed and said- ‘only when time comes, things will be understood.Dont worry.’
He consoled me and gave me lot of candies and… I learnt this habit of giving candies to kids from him only. It’s Annamalai Swamigal who contributed that habit to me. Because I’ll always go to him just because of candy. I still remember, I started going to him just because of the candy he gives. Later on he gave the ultimate candy- Enlightenment itself. But in the initial days, I used to go just because of the candy he gives. So he gave me the candy. And he gave one last word- Find out WHO is having that feeling, that you have pain or suffering. I can tell you, it was initiation. It was literally initiation. So it was such a strong truth inside me; whenever I find time I’ll sit and contemplate - Who is having pain in me? Who is that having me?
I’ll try to analyze inside me. Please understand. I was doing self enquiry without even my knowledge. This incident happened I think when I was 10 and a half. After 1 year, when I was 11 and a half this enlightenment experience happened.
On this same day, in arunachala, at the foothills of arunachala. I was trying to practice this same technique- Who am I? Who is having the pain experience? Who is the guy who is suffering? Who is having the pain?
Around sun set and moon rise, means after 4:30 before 6:00. That was the time, between 4:30 to 6:00. Maybe around 5- 5:30; It was a sudden click, please listen. It was not step by step experience.
Suddenly something opened in me. It is almost like a clicking, You are trying to connect 2 pipes struggling, struggling. Suddenly you know when the other side of the pipe water comes out, the pipes are connected. Exactly like that. Suddenly I know, something opened inside me.
I was actually with closed eyes. Means now I know who is the experience. Life. Alive. Being present in everything. Experiencing. I could see literally all the sides. 360 degree this side and 360 degree this side. Not only I was able to see one side the temple, the hill, the other side main temple, every plant, stone, the sky above me. Still when I remember… I am not even remembering now, I am literally re-living. I was able to see the WHOLE at a time, simultaneously. Without turning my head or opening my eyes.
When I understood, not only I was able to see, I felt, I experienced- the whole thing is me. I was ALIVE. How powerfully you are alive inside your skin. If someone hits you, touches you, you know. You are alive. How alive you are inside your skin, the same depth of life, alive; being alive, life… I felt with everything: the stone, plants, hill, temple; with everything, around 1 and a half hours.
My body did not even move. Maybe around 7:30 or 8:00, I slowly came down. Those days there was no light. slowly came down. Those days there was no light in that area. But I didn’t need any light! I could see everything! Of course, moon was there, because it’s a full moon day. Two-and-a-half days, full two and-a-half days I could not understand what is happening! It took full two-and-a-half days for me to understand I am in some other space. I could see everything as my presence!
Because I was in completion, the words of the master entered into me. Because of the integrity, the words were continuously working on me. That is Integrity! Trying to cut my own thigh and see is Authenticity. Means, expanding,stretching yourself to the truth. But, even then, I have not taken responsibility for the effect. When I decided to take the responsibility to find out the root source, then enlightenment experience happened, and I did not keep quiet. You need to know! I did not know, two and-a-half days, I did not know what was happening! Then, slowly, when I settled, I went and told my Godmother, Vibhoothanandapuri. Her name was Kuppammal. I went and told her. I asked her whether -am I possessed by ghost. She checked my energy and said, ‘No! You are possessed by God!’ Then, immediately, I rushed, the joy was so much, I rushed and called my classmate, one friend, took him to the temple and said, ‘I went and sat and meditated in that rock, that hill, and I got this experience! Now I can see anywhere! You also go and meditate in that rock. You will also have this experience. I thought in that rock only that experience happens!
He said,” What experience happened to you?
I said, ‘See, I can see now all the sides without turning my head! If you want you check. That fellow thought I am playing, making fun, or some pranks, playing pranks. He took a coin. The kids always carry a coin in their trouser pockets you see. He took a coin and showed behind my head, ‘Is it head or fIower, which side?
I exactly said. And again five-six times he tested. I exactly said. And I also said, ‘Not only I can see without turning my head the coin which you are showing, I can also see the tree behind, and the ants climbing the tree. I can see everything.
That’s it! He got frightened.
Let you all achieve, experience, live, express, radiate, share, and explode in eternal bliss, Nithyananda.
Thank you.
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Paramahamsa Nithyananda, Jnana Sambandhar, young, saint, Madurai, Full Moon, enlightenment, age, holy, enlightenment, divine, creation, alive, Four Truths, experience.